Relief in the shower...

You know what its like, so hard it hurts. Your partner in crime unable or unwilling to give you relief. You jump in the shower, as hot as you can handle to try & rub it out.

Now get your mind out if the gutter! I'm talking about a blocked duct. Lactating women holla!! For the last 2 days I've had that horrible pain of a blocked duct. It freaking burns. It hurts to move my arm. It hurts to touch. I can get the blockage out in a hot hot shower & it keeps freaking coming back when I get too full. And of course its in my 'golden boob' that happily gives up 150ml every 2-3hrs. Yes, I make THAT much milk. In one boob. As I sit here now I feel the burn. I'm looking forward to the relief I will get from expressing. I hate expressing but can't deny the relief.

I am more intimate with my pump than my husband these days. Sigh.

D day...

So today we have Mr J's first paediatric surgeon visit to find out when he'll get his surgery to repair his palate. Im looking forward to getting out of this limbo we've been in, but nervous too, its all so real. My baby boy will have surgery. That quite frankly scares the crap out of me.

So it starts....

I guess I should start with a bit of an introduction...
Im Mummy to 2 special litte guys - neither of whom have had the easiest (or hardest!) start to life.  

Mr S is 27 months, and was born at 32+4, and in NICU and SCN for 3 weeks.  He is a blonde haired, blue eyed delightful terror.  He is one of the funniest kids I have ever known.  He drives me insane, and makes me cry with laughter.

Mr J is 2 weeks old, and we actually got to term with him (37+4), but he was born with a cleft palate, so has trouble feeding.  I am a big believer in breastfeeding and Mr S got the good stuff for 22 months.  Mr J is currently trying to breastfeed, but cant get all he needs himself, so I also have to express and syringe feed him a lot of his milk.  It is exhausting.  The poor kid is also a ranga.  He's in for a tough life, haha!

My biggest crazy boy (DH) is in the army, and was deployed for the birth of Mr J.  Army life has many challenges, but that one was probably the hardest.

Sometimes I forget that Im 'more' than just Mum.  That seems to be how I define myself these days.  I forget what else I am, who I am.  I am Mum and Wifey.  I love to read, but havent read anything since Mr J was born.  I watch way too much TV, spend way too much time glued to my couch either on Facebook, feeding, expressing...  Im not a crafty mum, I cant make all that cool stuff you see on Pinterest.  I can bake though!

I've just signed up for the 12wbt, hoping to get a bit active again and get the family eating better.

So I guess this blog, if I remember to keep updating it, will be about my crazy 2 year old (seriously, some of the things he says and does need to be recorded for prosperity!), the upcoming challenges we face with Mr J and surgery etc, maybe some army stuff, and trying to keep myself accountable with the 12wbt.

Fun times ahead?  Maybe!