Monday, 7 March 2016

The assessment merry-go-round



I know it has been quite literally years since the last update on Mr J. He is 3 in a few weeks, and there has been a lot going on since the last post op update.

He has been receiving regular speech therapy, hearing tests every couple of months, and the biggest thing is in August 2015 he had his palate re-repaired. This surgery could not have been more different to his first operation! The surgery itself from about 4hrs, his palate was removed and completely redone. He had new grommets put it. After the first operation with the awful recovery we expected the worst. One thing we didn't have to deal with this time was breastfeeding/expressing, as he self weaned just after his second birthday. We also only ended up staying one night in hospital. One night! Compared to the horrendous week the first time!

This re-repair has been a compare success, so far. We are  still facing speech challenges, however his progress over the last 3 months has been amazing.

Today we had a follow up with the speechies at the hospital, and they were blown away by his improvement. How hearing test today came back 'almost normal'. This is fantastic! His speech is still a fair way behind where it should be for his age, but he has come so far.

Hopefully these improvements mean that the pressure is easing, he requires less intervention and running around for appointments. Hopefully it also means he'll be ready for kindy next year!

It has clearly been a big morning, he has fallen asleep on the train :)



Saturday, 5 March 2016

Stuff Sam Says...the archive



Since Mr S started speaking he has come out with some really interesting comments, as kids do. Having a conversation with him you just never know whats going to come out of his mouth! Occasionally these conversations and observations have made it onto Facebook, so now, I give you the archive, enjoy!


#stuffsamsays


Sam to Joey: sorry Joey *mumbles under his breath* sorry you're a jerk


Hey mum, I think Dexter needs a jumper. Like the girl sitting next him, you know, Moo Moo ‪#‎stuffsamsays



Hey mum, if we get cold and then we might freeze and then a stranger will chop us up like a puzzle.Not you and daddy, just me and Jojo


Sam (whilst playing with my hair): hey mum, there's some white hair back here!


'mum, when I'm the man I will go on the plane like daddy and I will help people. The people at the pool (nepal) got their houses and shops all squashed and they fell down, so I'll go and help them get new houses, coz I'm the man ok mummy. Then they'll be happy. How does that sound? '


Hey mum, you know those treats we gave you? I think me and Jojo need to have some, ok? They're in the fridge. I know where they are...


Hey mum, I'm wearing your slippers. I have one on my hand and one on my foot. You know what that means mum? It means I'm a camel! And because I'm wearing your slippers it means I'm the boss ok!


Sam: Mum, what's for dinner?
Me: chicken and veggies
Sam: ok. You can make veggies. I'm not eating them, but you can make them.
Me:....

Me: hey Sam, guess what?
Sam: what?
Me: I love you
Sam: oh, is that all? I thought it was something important

Hey mummy, I'm a big boy right? So that means really I'm a little grown up. I'm nearly a grown up if you think about it!

Sam: what are you making mummy?
Me: soup. Are you going to try some?
Sam: nah, I already had some before
Me: when?!
Sam: at my old house. In Townsville. I don't need more.
Apparently he's done with soup for life because he had a spoonful once ðŸ˜‚


Sam: you know what I'm really good at mummy?
Me: what's that Sam?
Sam: I'm really good at telling you what I want you to do. But mummy, you're not very good at doing what I tell you to. But it's ok, you keep practicing. If you practice then you can be good at doing what I say, ok?
Me:... Or not...


Sam is a wise old soul... In the car today:
Sam: Mum, I think you shouldn't say can't. If you say you can't then you really can't. I think you should just do it and don't say that then you can. Maybe you can if you don't say you can't, you just have to try.


Sam: you know mum, I think we need another baby so I have 2 brothers
Me: pardon??!!!
Sam: well actually I think I need 2 brothers. That's all.
Me: sorry buddy. Not happening. No no no!


Sam: can we move here (Tas), I like the beach. Qld doesn't have beaches :(


Sam: mum, what did you make?
Me: scones
Sam: like crust ons (croissants)?
Me: no, just scones
Sam: I'm pretty sure you're saying it wrong mummy. It's crust ons. Crust ons! Oh, and they're not the right shape for crust ons... Grandma's crust ons don't look like that.
Me: that's because they're scones...


Me: oh it looks a bit windy and grey outside Sam. Maybe it'll rain.
Sam: just because it's windy it doesn't mean it'll rain mum. *pause* but yes. It might be a storm.


Me: Sam, can you help pack up please?
Sam: um, no, I can't. I ran out of petrol *stands like a statue*


Sam: what's for dinner mum?
Me: aaah...
Sam: actually, don't worry. Whatever it is I don't like it. I'm not eating it


Mummy, I know what person I am now, but when I get my tonsils out I don't know what person I'll be then. Do you think I'll still have eyebrows?


Me: Sam, please stop throwing dirt
Sam: I have an answer for you. Don't look at me then
Me: just because I'm not looking doesn't mean you can keep doing it!
Sam: yeah it does. If you don't like it then just don't look


Sam: I love all you way to the end of the rainbow mummy


Reading a book about elephants to Sam and talking about conservation and protection from bad people killing them...
Sam: well just tell the elephants to go into an elephant tree house and lock the door, then the bad guys can't get them!
Me: next time you see an elephant you tell him that!
Sam: or you can just tell the bad guys to stop it, and I'll tell the elephants to hide... I think I could be a conservationist and save the elephants. I don't want them to be instinct (extinct).


You know what Santa really loves mummy? Like really really loves? Pies. Santa really loves pies. And maybe water.


Sam choose himself a new singlet at kmart...
'mum, this outfit is a bit fancy, I think it will be perfect for taking daddy to the airport, and getting bacon!'


An hour past his bedtime, and he says 'I just really love you, but I'm not really here, it's just my body, it wanted to cuddle you'
How do I turn that down?!


Me: what are you drawing Sam?
Sam: I'm writing, and you can't see. It's only for boys. No girls allowed!


Just can't win - Sam pesters me for cheesecake for morning tea. We all have a lovely morning tea, until..
Sam: mum, you did the wrong thing.
Me: what?!
Sam: morning tea should be healthy food. Cheesecake isn't healthy food. So you did the wrong thing
Me: hang on, you bugged me for this morning tea, it's a treat, and I said it's ok today.
Sam: well at school we have fruit break then lunch then treat time. So treat time isn't in the morning ok *mutters to himself 'oh this is good. I picked the right one' and marches his licked clean plate to the sink*


Sam: I really love you mummy. And I miss daddy. I really love daddy. Maybe more than you. But I really love you and daddy. Maybe you more. Actually maybe the same



Me: what did you do today Sam?
Sam: I dunno, stuff and things and activities...




Thursday, 3 March 2016

Who needs to vote??



Here in QLD we are coming up to a local election and referendum. Fun stuff. Don't we all love to get the candidates fancy flyers in the mail, the automated phone calls, seeing the signs and people randomly standing on the streets supporting their candidate? Does anyone else think about how much that stuff costs?! Surely that money can be better spent elsewhere. One of my pet hates is campaign material that focuses on the opposition. In the mail today I got a flyer that didn't tell me anything at all about anything someone was going to DO, but focuses solely on what the incumbent hasn't done. Take a guess about how much that makes me want to vote for you? What is wrong with a positive campaign? Tell me YOUR plans. I don't care for the sledging and negative campaigning.

Hm, tell me who you are and why I should vote for you again??


My phone started ringing at 9pm last night. 9 FREAKING PM. You know who it was? An automated survey about who I should vote for. Do you know how much that impressed me? Yeah, not at all. 

To top it off, I had to register for a postal ballot as I was going to be away (more on this to come, woo!) on election day. Plans changed and I'll be here now, but I digress. My postal ballot arrived yesterday. I put it on the table so that I wouldn't forget to fill it out and return it. I know, I know, I should have just done it then and there, put it in my handbag, and all would be good. But no. I did not do that. Last night before putting my little cherubs to bed I saw my envelope and got that sinking feeling. At first glance it all looked OK, phew. Lets just move that out of reach then. But wait. What's that on the floor? Oh yes, that's the specially printed sealable secret ballot envelope. Oh, and what's this. Do we have mice? Rats? Oh nooo, no no no. I have a Master J. A Mstr J who apparently thinks he's a GOAT and happily refused dinner, and instead nibbled on my ballots as a pre bed snack. Inside the envelope was some ripped up paper. Another ballot. There was NO way I could return these in this condition. I couldn't even seal the envelope.

You know what I got to do on my kid free day? Called the Electoral Commission to find out what the hell I need to do so I can vote. Due to a heavily congested phone line I even got to put my predicament in writing. Yeah, I wish I could see their face when they get that one. Looking forward to the reply...

So next time you get annoyed at having to vote, just think, you could have to tell someone your kid ate your ballot papers....

B x


Saturday, 27 February 2016

Skinnymixers Butter Chicken



A lot has changed since I started my baking blog back in 2012... Added another (and the final!) kid to the family (see the fun with him below), moved from Townsville to Brisbane, and joined the 'thermal cooking revolution'. My machine of choice is currently the Bellini Intelli Kitchen Master, and it has served me very well for over 2.5 years now. It is, however, starting to get past its prime. Luckily a new Bellini is scheduled to be released in May, with a heap more functions, bringing it even closer to the pinnacle, the Thermomix. Personally, I feel slightly sick at the $2000 price tag, particularly when there are alternatives that do the same job.

Anyway, one of the best things about joining the revolution is discovering Skinnymixers. Every recipe is fantastic. Every single one. The maestro Nik has produced 3 recipe books so far (A Little Taste Of India, A Little Taste Of Asia and The Healthy Mix), as well as countless recipes on her website. Tonight's Butter Chicken is made using the A Little Taste Of India recipe, however a variation is available on the website http://skinnymixers.com.au/skinnymixers-butter-chicken/

I highly recommend giving this cult classic a try!


Well hello there!



Goodness me, I've just remembered I had this blog, thanks to Facebook and it's 'on this day' feature. Just when I'm finally getting back into my baking!

I've found an app that I am quite in love with, feel free to check out my recipe box on copy me that. I may just revive this blog to post about my successes and failures, my memory isn't what it used to be!

http://www.copymethat.com/recipebox/bec-lapham/473690/

Have fun baking!

Bec


Thursday, 2 January 2014

Fixed palate, broken relationship...



Master J is now almost 2 weeks post palate repair. These past 2 weeks have been so unbelievably hard.  Seeing your baby in a morphine induced haze is heart breaking. Mr J fights sleep SO hard even morphine couldnt knock him out.  A week in hospital with 2-4hrs sleep a night - not exactly a 5 star vacation. The care we received was second to none, medically speaking everything was deemed a success, now we have to wait a few weeks to see how it heals, and fingers crossed it will be perfect, and we wont have to go back for more surgery.
The hardest part of this ordeal has been not being able to breastfeed.  For the past 5 months he has been exclusively breastfed. It is his only comfort, and we worked so hard to get it happening.  Now it has been ripped away, for a month. 2 weeks to go. Without our breastfeeding relations hip I feel completely disconnected from him, and completely irrelevant. He feels the same. He doesnt want me, he doesnt need me, and he gets no comfort from me. I have absolutely no idea how to be his mother right now. When he cries, which is often, i feel like all i can do is pass him over to Daddy L and walk away. I cant get him to sleep, it's a struggle to get him to take a bottle, i feel completely useless. He looks at me as if to say 'why, why won't you just feed me, hold me close and let me feed?' I would if I was allowed, in a heartbeat. I can't even just hold him close and snuggle because he gets stressed out and claws at my chest. I am living in fear that in 2 weeks time he won't go back to the breast, and I don't know what I'd do then. I hate not having a relationship with him, but we can't do anything about it. Hopefully our relationship can be mended, even tho it doesn't feel at will ever have a relationship again. I expected things to be tough post op, but this is so much worse than I expected.
On a positive note, physically J is going really well, feeding and finally sleeping. He still wants to be held all the time, which is perfectly fine, but he needs me to be standing whilst I hold him. My entire body aches from standing around 18hrs a day for a week. I'm exhausted all round really.
My frame of mind, and time with my family gave me a wake up call. Social media - Facebook - was too big a part of my life. Walking around the ward at 4am checking Facebook. Why?? What was I getting out of it? As things happened with J I was composing status updates, and updates for my groups in, in my head. I should have been focused on what was happening, not how I would share it. I was failing my son all round. This was something i could do something about. So i deactivated my Facebook. No dramatic 'I'm leaving Facebook' announcements, i just left. People had my number if they wanted me. This was a week ago. And it feels good. I don't feel as judged - by myself or others. I don't feel like I have to live up to anybody else. I'll be back, but hopefully in a more limited capacity.
Until then, thank you to everyone for their well wishes, and for thinking of us, it really does mean a lot.
Xxx


Monday, 23 December 2013

Christmas... the season to be...a sheep?



I cop a lot of flack for not being 'into' Xmas. I get called a grinch, a spoil sport, and get scoffed at.  How can one not be into Xmas you ask?  Easy.

Why do we celebrate Xmas? Well that depends on your belief system.  If you are Christian you probably toe the party line and parrot that Xmas is about the birth of Jesus, despite evidence to the fact that this is not a 'fact' (dont get me started on the greatest selling fictional story of all time). You probably havent looked at why December 25 was chosen. Yes, chosen. It had nothing to do with the bible and everything to do with assimilating with existing Pagan holiday of Saturnalia in 4CE, and telling Pagans they could continue their Saturnalia traditions, and the final day of Saturnalia was declared Jesus Birthday in order to add a 'Christian' aspect to the Pagan tradition. In return for ensuring massive observance of the anniversary of the Savior’s birth by assigning it to this resonant date, the Church for its part tacitly agreed to allow the holiday to be celebrated more or less the way it had always been. The earliest Christmas holidays were celebrated by drinking, sexual indulgence, singing naked in the streets (a precursor of modern caroling), etc.

So, do I believe in the story of Jesus and feel the need to celebrate a fictitious birth? No! Do I identify as Pagan and feel the need to celebrate Saturnalia? No! So we can safely say there is no religious reason for me to treat the day any differently to any other day.

Oh but what about the children, wont someone please think of the children, I hear you cry. If we look at the REAL history of Christmas, it is not a day that we would want to celebrate at all!

·        Christmas has always been a holiday celebrated carelessly.  For millennia, pagans, Christians, and even Jews have been swept away in the season’s festivities, and very few people ever pause to consider the celebration’s intrinsic meaning, history, or origins.
·       Christmas celebrates the birth of the Christian god who came to rescue mankind from the “curse of the Torah.”  It is a 24-hour declaration that Judaism is no longer valid.
·        Christmas is a lie.  There is no Christian church with a tradition that Jesus was really born on December 25th.
·        December 25 is a day on which Jews have been shamed, tortured, and murdered.
·        Many of the most popular Christmas customs – including Christmas trees, mistletoe, Christmas presents, and Santa Claus – are modern incarnations of the most depraved pagan rituals ever practiced on earth.

'Santa Claus' or Saint Nick was was born in Parara, Turkey in 270 CE and later became Bishop of Myra.  He died in 345 CE on December 6th.  He was only named a saint in the 19th century. Nicholas was among the most senior bishops who convened the Council of Nicaea in 325 CE and created the New Testament.  The text they produced portrayed Jews as “the children of the devil” who sentenced Jesus to death. 

In 1087, a group of sailors who idolized Nicholas moved his bones from Turkey to a sanctuary in Bari, Italy.  There Nicholas supplanted a female boon-giving deity called The Grandmother, or Pasqua Epiphania, who used to fill the children's stockings with her gifts.  The Grandmother was ousted from her shrine at Bari, which became the center of the Nicholas cult.  Members of this group gave each other gifts during a pageant they conducted annually on the anniversary of Nicholas’ death, December 6.

 The Nicholas cult spread north until it was adopted by German and Celtic pagans.  These groups worshipped a pantheon led by Woden –their chief god and the father of Thor, Balder, and Tiw.  Woden had a long, white beard and rode a horse through the heavens one evening each Autumn.  When Nicholas merged with Woden, he shed his Mediterranean appearance, grew a beard, mounted a flying horse, rescheduled his flight for December, and donned heavy winter clothing. In a bid for pagan adherents in Northern Europe, the Catholic Church adopted the Nicholas cult and taught that he did (and they should) distribute gifts on December 25th instead of December 6th.

In 1809, the novelist Washington Irving (most famous his The Legend of Sleepy Hollow andRip Van Winkle) wrote a satire of Dutch culture entitled Knickerbocker History.  The satire refers several times to the white bearded, flying-horse riding Saint Nicholas using his Dutch name, Santa Claus. Dr. Clement Moore, a professor at Union Seminary, read Knickerbocker History, and in 1822 he published a poem based on the character Santa Claus: “Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.  The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in the hope that Saint Nicholas soon would be there…”  Moore innovated by portraying a Santa with eight reindeer who descended through chimneys.

The Bavarian illustrator Thomas Nast almost completed the modern picture of Santa Claus.  From 1862 through 1886, based on Moore’s poem, Nast drew more than 2,200 cartoon images of Santa for Harper’s Weekly.  Before Nast, Saint Nicholas had been pictured as everything from a stern looking bishop to a gnome-like figure in a frock.  Nast also gave Santa a home at the North Pole, his workshop filled with elves, and his list of the good and bad children of the world.  All Santa was missing was his red outfit.

In 1931, the Coca Cola Corporation contracted the Swedish commercial artist Haddon Sundblom to create a coke-drinking Santa.  Sundblom modeled his Santa on his friend Lou Prentice, chosen for his cheerful, chubby face.  The corporation insisted that Santa’s fur-trimmed suit be bright, Coca Cola red.  And Santa was born – a blend of Christian crusader, pagan god, and commercial idol.

So does any of this make me more inclined to think December 25 is different to any other day?  You guessed it, NOPE!  All this hubub and fuss over one day. Forcing people to feel like they have to socialise with people they wouldnt otherwise be around, awkward family get togethers and then the fighting over Christmas customs, the over indulging of food, spending copious amounts of money on things you probably dont need.  I just dont see the point.  There is absolutely NO reason for me to 'celebrate' December 25!  I honestly see no reason to buy into any of the Christmas propaganda.  But hey, if you want to lie to your kids about a fat man who breaks and enters, encourage your kids to sit on a strangers lap and take presents/lollies from them go for it. Nothing to do with me! But for me, I have no desire to perpetuate the theatrics.



Thursday, 12 September 2013

We're breastfeeding and booked for surgery!



OK, so I may or may not have warned at the outset that I may not be good at this regular blogging buso.  I have often thought about my blog over the last few months...  So...  to catch up...

The good stuff:
Mr J is now exclusively breastfed!! *holds for applause*  For the last 6 weeks or so he has not had a bottle, I have not had to pump. He is a messy feeder still with milk running out his nose and all over both of us, a towel is a necessary accessory!  He is doing such a great job feeding and I am so proud of him.  We have just started to try and block feed to ensure he is getting plenty of fatty hindmilk because he is using a lot more energy to feed than a non cleft bub, and is not gaining weight.  Whilst this worries me, because lets face it, parenting is all about numbers, I am reassured by the fact that our surgeon and ENT both looked at him, commented he was 'little' and proceeded to announce him healthy.  I never would have thought my 4kg chunker would end up smaller than my 2.5kg premmie!

Mr J is now 6 months old, I know, where did that go??  He is rolling and showing a definite interest in food.  Bottles, no, but food, yeah.  Now we enter the fun food phase, made even more messy by his cleft.  Pureed pumpkin leaks from his nose for hours, a sneeze is a blanket of pumpkin and mucous.  Delightful.  Spaghetti can go in the mouth and out the nose.  Yesterday he stole a hot chip from my plate and mushed it up into his cleft.  He was sneezing chunks of chip and was clearly uncomfortable.  Its now turning into a discussion with the hubster about what to feed him.  Mr S refused purees, he was baby led weaning all the way.  That is what I want to do again.  He is worried about him eating food and choking/getting it stuck in his cleft.  I think we will just have to go with trial and error and Im sure he'll work it out.

I am now remembering why I was consciously trying not to gloat and relish in the fact my baby slept.  For the last 2 months or so he has been up almost hourly at night.  He is up from 20-40min each time, and it is exhausting!  I was hoping against hope that this time round I had a sleeper after the sleepless nightmare of Mr S.  Seems it is not to be.  Dealing with sleep deprivation is even worse with a toddler to deal with I've decided.  At least the toddler is sleeping well now!

My little ranga has now been booked in for his palate repair surgery, and grommets for December!  In the meantime he is ROCKING a bone conductor hearing aid, which is an amazing piece of technology.


In teaser news (in case I dont get around to another post for a while...), Im now 30, Mr S has had a psych evaluation and we get results next week, I failed dismally at the 12wbt and am feeling beyond blah about my body, hubby has been snipped and my days are HARD.  Mummyhood is sure not what I was expecting and most days are a real struggle,  Thats a story for its own post tho.  I'll try and be better, promise!